


Desperation

by A_Concerned_Citizen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Loki's musings, The Avengers - Freeform, honestly don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22234756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Concerned_Citizen/pseuds/A_Concerned_Citizen
Summary: Loki doesn't get much entertainment in his cell on Asgard so he has a lot of time to think instead. His thoughts inevitably drift to the event that got him in this predicament. The invasion of New York.-"You may have been desperate Director. But so was I"
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	Desperation

Loki sat in his cell, deep in thought.

His mind went back to his ‘discussion’ with the Midgardian director. Fury, his mind supplied.

_How desperate are you? That you call on such lost creatures to defend you?_

_How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can’t hope to control, you talk about peace and you kill cause it’s fun._

_You have made me_ very _desperate._

Loki could respect the man for his defense of his world. His desperation had caused him to bring together the most volatile creatures on the planet, just for a chance. A _chance_ at victory.

 _You took a similar chance,_ an unwelcome voice whispered in his mind. _You were even more desperate to get out of the Chitahuri’s grasp._ Loki shook his head, begging the voice to stop. _You were so, so, desperate to escape his_ _control._ Loki suppressed a shudder, Thanos _had_ made him desperate.

Loki thought of the long months of torture, steadily breaking his psyche enough for the mind stone to gain full control, he thought of the moment it broke, the moment the beast had damaged his head enough that the connection was severed. He remembered the jolt of pain that came with the damage done to his body, physically, emotionally and mentally. He was absolutely broken in that moment. The beast had turned away, but if he hadn’t, he would have seen the conflict in his eyes that Loki knew was there.

But once the Avengers came back, Loki played his role. _Can’t let them know I am weak. That I was controlled._ He acted snide and cruel, Thor looked heartbroken, but Loki was itching to remind him that all of this was _his fault._

Loki went through the invasion, analysed everything, before realizing how desperate he truly had been. The mistake in Selvig’s machine? He had seen it, but left it, because he _didn’t want to win_. Placing the portal in the most obvious spot possible, was not on accident. _Because he didn’t want to win._

_He wanted to be free._

“You may have been desperate Director,”

“ _but so was I”_

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT!!!  
> Okay, so this was a short little drabble on my part but I have an idea to make it into a Loki redemption story/Loki joins the avengers story (because I am a sucker for those)  
> If you'd like to see a continuation of this please let me know because while it is something I'd like to do I have a bunch of other fics I am working on and I don't want to balance another unless people actually want to see it so yeah, if you want to see this continued please tell me.
> 
> Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it!


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